Husband, Father, Business Executive

My father passed away a month after the World Trade Center fell. He was many things in his all-too -brief life: husband, father, business executive. Tennis ranked right up there, too.

Cancer treatment cost him his inner ear (with it his balance). I remember the day he went to hit his classic slice backhand and missed the ball entirely. I felt so bad for him. Success on the court was a huge part of his existence. And now he couldn’t even do that?

We had what people call ‘a strained relationship.’ We could argue sports. We could bang the tennis ball back and forth. But we couldn’t talk. We couldn’t just be. I always felt like I let him down.

My first inkling for change (what I later think was an awakening) came after the birth of my daughter. The thought came suddenly, and quite clearly. Who am I? How do I want my firstborn to see me?

I became a stay-at-home dad back when the concept was still in its infancy. Not long after I got my MFA in Creative Writing. My dad didn’t say much about this new me. But then the world was already passing him by. I’d like to think he’d be proud of how my wife and I raised our children. He may not have thought writing as a profession the smartest career move, but I’d like to think he accepted it in the end.

I like this photo. It’s how I wish to remember him—young, daring, a glint of adventure his eye. #tennis